Solitude| Connecting with a Forgotten Friend

During my time in the military, I spent a period of time in Afghanistan — a beautiful hot and dry desert environment. At times it could be a place full of people, movement, and noise. On a military base being too loud could cause trouble. Although I couldn’t always scream, yell, or express myself however I wanted, I still had something incredibly valuable: complete freedom over how I spent my off-time.

I could decide who I spent my time with, how I used the hours when I didn’t have to answer to anyone, and what I chose to do when I was simply alone. Being surrounded by people but still having the ability to choose solitude whenever I needed was empowering. It helped me grow into someone who makes clearer decisions, knows how to recharge, and understands the importance of having space to be myself.

That freedom — even in a structured environment — shaped how I see solitude today. It’s exactly why this kind of time matters so much.

A study published in Scientific Reports (Weinstein et al., 2023) found that people experience greater autonomy and authentic-choice feelings (volitional freedom) on days when they spend more time alone. That sense of self-directed freedom is a form of nourishment. But the same study also showed that unwanted solitude doesn’t offer the same benefits, which makes intention the key.

Below are the three ways solitude supports emotional and physical health, followed by grounded, accessible ways to create it in your daily life.

Unrestricted Alone Time Releases Stored Energy

Yelling, laughing, singing, crying — these are natural physical expressions. But most people suppress them to avoid disturbing others, creating long-term tension in the body.

A 2025 scoping review on sound-based stress interventions (Saskovets et al.) found that vocal and sound-based expression can lower physiological stress markers. Sound is not only emotional — it’s biological.

Allowing yourself to freely express sound, movement, or emotion releases stored energy and helps the nervous system recalibrate.

Freedom From Restriction Helps You Return to Yourself

Every time I scream, make a loud note on my flute, or simply laugh without restriction, I release energy I’ve held back out of courtesy for the people around me. Even when the intention was good, the tension I created by holding it back was real.

Every time I let that energy go, I return to myself — fully, directly, and without shrinking.

Solitude isn’t the absence of others. It’s the presence of YOU.

Creating Small Pockets of Freedom — Even When You’re Not Fully Alone

True solitude can be hard to come by at home, but you can create meaningful micro-solitude moments anywhere.

Here are three grounded, science-supported methods:

1. Use Your Car as a Release Space

Your car can become a private sanctuary for:

• yelling

• crying

• singing

• breathing deeply

• shaking out your hands or shoulders

Research shows that private emotional expression helps regulate stress hormones and improves mood. Even a short session in a parked car can shift your internal state.

2. Let the Shower Hold You

The shower is naturally regulating: warm water relaxes muscles, lowers tension, and melts inhibition.

You can:

• belt out a favorite song

• talk to yourself

• let tears fall

• hum or vocalize

Warmth + privacy + constant sensory input makes the shower a safe container for release.

3. Practice Sensory Narrowing (Micro-Solitude Technique)

A grounded way to create internal space anywhere:

1. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.

2. Choose one sound (a fan, your breathing, distant noise).

3. Filter out everything else.

4. Stay with that one sound for 15–20 seconds.

5. Let your body settle.

This simple technique activates the prefrontal cortex and creates a sense of internal separation from external chaos — even in a crowded home.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Solitude

Solitude is most powerful when it’s voluntary. If you ever feel isolated, trapped, or cut off from support, that’s when connection becomes the medicine instead. In the United States, you can call 988 for immediate, free, and confidential support for loneliness and other mental health struggles by dialing, texting, or chatting online. For help with finding local social services, call 211.

The goal is balance: Time with others, time with yourself, and the wisdom to know when you need which.

As with my time in Afghanistan, solitude becomes transformative when you can choose it — when you carve out space for your own voice, your own thoughts, your own emotional release.

Solitude is not abandonment. It’s not withdrawal.

It’s a forgotten friend waiting to bring you back to yourself.

If this article resonates with you, take a look at our New Sun Wellness merchandise. You can order prints of photos found in our blogs at the Vibe Media Shop

Love, Light, Joy, Peace and Abundance,

Malik